Chiclit Yarns – Hell Freezes Over

 

‘So, you’re the girl all the bad boys want?’ he asks me as he tries to help me stand straight on my two left feet.

Yeah right, and he thinks I haven’t heard Bowling For Soup scream that out to me like what a million times in the past six months!

 

‘Nice try,’ I say, still reeling under the effect of a sea of vodka swirling and making noises inside my stomach, ‘but no, I’m not you’re girl.’

 

‘We’ll see,’ he says and shrugs. WOW!! A nice pair of tough shoulders he has! And I wonder why I have to notice all the weird things in a guy! First the nails, then the shoulders; I’m afraid what I will fancy next.

 

Too late. We’re already into the hot zone and the heat here is mind blowing. It’s like there is this sea of humanity here; bodies sticking to each other but free and detached in a vaguely comforting way. It’s like you have to understand what music can do to you. It’s like its simple math. Either the music is with you or it isn’t.

Right here, now, in this space, the music has embraced every soul, every body.

 

Yeah. It sure feels to be good here.

 

Shantanu holds my hand and pulls me close to him. There are like hundreds of people swarming at us from all sides. But it’s funny how I feel safe. I don’t know if it’s the vodka or its same old aboriginal loneliness in my head, but I feel safer here in the arms of a certified womanizer than I have felt in a while as I’d hang around uncomfortably, around people who’ve known me for like what, my whole life or something.

 

I wonder where Shauna is but then I hope to God she doesn’t come around too soon and cut short my few moments of surreal peace. Hell! Right now I won’t even care if I’d lay my eyes on that dope of an ex and his pretty nubile bimbette.

 

Right now I feel like I’m hit with a narrow beam of light that travels from somewhere from the base of my toes and travels up my legs; into my abdomen where I feel a sensuous sensation of anticipation; to my stomach into my thudding heart; to my head where I feel a weird sense of freedom that whirrs behind my eyes and goes zooo zooo zooo…

 

The music has slowed down as if on cue and I can feel Shantanu do wonderful things to the knotted muscles on the back of my neck. Heck! I know the guy’s just playing the charming Don Juan who’s just giving the waylaid Senorita a taste of what lies open for her too choose as the night grows older and the party lights dim.

 

His place or mine…

 

Whatever

 

 

I think Vodka loves to play its revenge the old fashioned way; a fish best eaten when cold. Strange, but I can feel higher than I’d felt an hour ago and now everything around me seems to be running too fast; too slick and too slippery.

I know Shantanu’s hands are all over me; my back, my front and everywhere else; and what the hell, it feels so good! So damn frigging good!

It’s like I don’t care what people think. Whether they think I’m distasteful or they think that I’m plain old horny. I don’t care.

Right now all I care about is the feel of two clean nailed hands running all over my body and a string of heavenly beats that are driving my body to an orgasmic rhythm.

 

Yep, I’m in the fanciest party of the town and in the arms of the dandiest guy around.

 

Now how lucky can a girl get?

*winks*

 

‘Hey!’ he whispers in my ear in his most seductive lilt.

‘Hmmm…’ Yep, I’m still drunk. Hell! knowing what’s coming next, I wont even mind pretending.

‘You know I’d always noticed you around Shauna but I didn’t know you were so much fun. I mean you’re live wire! So cool and hip and mod and all!! Hell!! Just look at the way you jive. Girl, you’re something!’

‘uh uh’

 

*break* he wonders what to say next

 

‘Hey!’

‘hmmm’

‘What’s with this hmm and uh’ he’s a tad displeased ‘aren’t you having fun?’

I look up at him and I’m about to tell him that I definitely was having fun till he decided to put an ugly end to the delicious things he was doing to my back and till I was lost to the music with out him bothering me with his inane pick up lines and all…

 

But saving grace (and it was pretty freaky too!) The DJ decided to come to my rescue and guess what he plays this time around!

 

8:oo monday nite and i'm waiting
To fin'lly talk to a girl a lil cooler than me
Her name is nola
She’s a rocker with a nose ring
She wears a two-way
But im not quite sure what that means
And when she walks all the wind blows and the angels sing
But she doesn’t notice me

 

The sound of the lines from my all time favorite song sends me into a mercenary tizzy. Suddenly the thin beam of light hugging me close to nirvana turns blood red and all the heartbreak and injustice piled on my shitty head comes crashing down on me and I like thump my feet and shake around my belly in deep rage and the guy, yea, the handsome dope is like taken by surprise and all.

 

Cause she’s watching wrestlin, screamin over tuff guys,
Listenin to rap metal, turn tables in her eyes
Its like a bad movie she’s lookin thru me
If you were me than you’d be screamin someone shoot me
As I fall miserably tryin to get the girl all the bad guys want
Cuz she’s the girl all the bad guys want

 

I swivel and I jive and I thrust my body close to his and the Vodka swims to my head and curdles there in a gooey white mess. Yeah party people! I’m officially plastered and the music’s finally gotten to me and now I’m acting like the female version of a bawdy jerk but then I’m too far gone to care.

 

The music plays on.

 

She likes the god smack and I like ancient orange
Her cd changes full of singers that are mad at their dads
She says shed like to score some reefer and a forty
She'll never know that I’m the best that she'll ever have
And when she walks all the wind blows and the angels sing
But she'll never notice me

 

Now the guys around me have started noticing me. Yea right, every body likes a girl who dances like a pole dancer.

Everybody.

Shantanu I believe looks real staggered and all; that’s about all I can manage to peep through my eyes swollen with piled up rage and the vengeful soul of Vodka. Hell! I know he’s enjoying every shake of my booty and every thrust sends him rolling down the lanes of guilty pleasure. Heck! I don’t care.

Incase you didn’t notice, I’m dirty dancing. Freak dancing whatever.

 

Cuz she’s watching wrestlin, screamin over tuff guys,
Listenin to rap metal, turntables in her eyes, she likes 'em
With a mustache, race track season pass,
Driving in a tranz am, does a mollet make a man,
It's like a bad movie she's lookin thru me
If you were me than you’d be screamin someone shoot me
As I fell miserably
Trying to get the girl all the bad guys want
Cuz shes the girl all the bad guys want

 

Dirrtyyyy. I feel so dirrtyyyy.

 

I’m all over Shantanu and now I can feel their boring gazes peel the skin of my back and skin my flesh. I don’t care. I love being dirtty.

My feet move to the rhythm of the music and beads of sweat dot my forehead, my cleavage, my back; the muscles of my neck are taut and my hands fight with each other to pull Shantanu so close to my body that he could melt with my heat.

 

A dull throbbing is spreading inside my head and I can feel something telling me to stop, that I wont love all this as much tomorrow morning or a million other mornings to come.

 

But the Vodka is vengeful and the rage is manic.

 

And then I do it, while the music plays on and the number of eyes staring at me dirty dancing grows with dangerous speed.

 

And then I do it.

 

Right there, on the middle of the dance floor, with my hands all over a dull but handsome Casanova, my body contorted in awful pole dance moves and my eyes fiery with Vodka dancing a [dirty] dance in their irises, I do it.

 

I kiss Shantanu long and hard on the mouth and the music still blares in my ears and blood still throbs in the veins of my head.

 

And then I feel a pair of hands pull at me from behind and I turn around to see Shauna gaping at me like I’m the most dread some thing she’d seen ever since that creep from Hostel.

 

And I see almost the whole gypsy gang staring at me with indifferent but interested eyes that mocked ancient fireballs at my pulsating body.

 

And I saw my ex. Grinning.

And his bimbette, looking at me like she’d never seen anything freakier/funnier, whichever, before.

 

And I wondered why I suddenly didn’t feel high at all. And was it all a plan of great cosmic revelation and alien conspiracy and all to make me feel so high and then fall so low with such a bloody bang!

 

I didn’t know what to feel and the music still played on.

 

And Shantanu suddenly decided to play scarce.

*Why did I even bother to wonder about him* - Chides herself

 

Whatever.

 

In all that heat and nervous energy, I suddenly felt so cold, lonely and all.

 

Yeah, you do feel so cold, and lonely and lost, when hell freezes over.